12.03.2024 Concentration difficulties

Letting go of old habits is hard. The rigidity I feel in trying to install my desired new habits may be even harder to deal with. Rigidity and boredom. These are difficult, even repulsive concepts to me. Actively living them, even for a transitory period, is challenging. But they have an important common effect: they can lead to an increase in one’s capacity to concentrate. Concentration, focus, depth, attention, mindfulness. These are concepts I have deemed to be valuable and desirable. But they require sacrifices. Old habits being pertinent examples. Certain forms of intensity, fluidity, passions, pleasant distractions and sensations being others. I’m currently still at a point where I’m trying to connect, to see if I can merge some of these older habits and intensities with my intentions to prioritize concentration and attention. I’m still trying to see if I can have it both ways. A likely answer is no, but I will try nonetheless.